Just how unique are each of us made in the image of God?

For the last dozen years I have been a disciple of strengths-based work and understanding what I am called to do. Chances are you have not heard of strengths-based work or, at best, you are not familiar with it.  

For the uninitiated, simply put, strengths-based work means I focus on what I AM GOOD AT, not what I am poorly fit to do.

This past weekend I attended a seminar at Gateway Church in Southlake, TX, to get a better handle on my Christian identity and to my surprise, they embraced the Gallup Strengths Finder and a spiritual gifts finder hand in hand to help plot my course. 

During my time in sales with Johnson & Johnson EVERY field ride was the same- NEGATIVE. I would hear things like “You know anatomy & procedure very well,  you know instrumentation, you are very good with your customers, BUT we wish you were better at this or that.” These items on their wish list were invariably clerical in nature- minutiae if you will, that did not enhance my relationship, sales or customer service. Just one area to work on to make me a more-rounded employee. It frustrated me and my colleagues no end because at the time, no one knew any better. Today, many are still laboring under these arcane ideas. 

The Gallup organization breaks strengths into 35 areas or terms. For me, my top 5 are Context (understanding the intent), Responsibility, Belief (I HAVE to believe to move forward), Includer (I ensure others are included in discussions), WOO (Winning Others Over or persuasion). Few people have the same strengths as me in the same order. So few in fact, if we extend the list to my top 6 and looked at the nearly 7 billion people on earth, we might find 220 people with the very same strengths in the same descending order. 

Let’s look at the top 8- there would be approximately .0026 people in the entire world with the same top 8 strengths, in the same descending order as me. Statistically speaking, not even ONE person alive today!

Now, extrapolate that out to all 35 strengths….   

In case you are wondering how to figure that out, it is simple multiplication with the possible remaining variables. In other words, 35x34x33x32x31…. all the way down to 1. Does that give you a sense to the size of that number? HUGE. In astronomical terms, it would probably be measured in light years! In human terms, it is likely no one has ever existed with the exact same gifts in the exact same order. NO ONE in all of humanity's existence.

Well, that’s all well and good- so what?

Take another look at the rankings of YOUR strengths. Since there are so many variables and combinations, can you not see how unique YOU are? How amazingly designed YOU are?

Can you now see the tragedy the business world has perpetrated against us and perpetuated in trying to help us with our “weaknesses” and not focusing on the strengths God gave each of us? And what about the recent "equality" push where we seem to be eliminating gender from the equation in the hopes of making everyone equal. The paradigm is revolutionary and breathtaking. 

Rather than continually striving to be something you can NEVER BE, God has intended us to find work and even ministry using that which we are already anointed with and in which we will find fulfillment, and thus peace and a restful heart.

The other thing I found fascinating about this class was how we can use science to confirm God's Intelligent Design! Too many people have failed to understand the argument and have learned they have to choose BETWEEN God and science, but that is a topic for another conversation.

What are you waiting for? Find your strengths and change your life today!

A lack of Grace: 5 Things we can Learn When Someone Expects Perfection in us

Learn from the past and quickly leave it there
to look to the future

When we seek or expect perfection in others we encounter in life we set ourselves up for disappointment and the other person for failure. This past week a customer made that abundantly clear to me.

As an internet or e-commerce director, my responsibility is to drive my store's profitability through a digital medium: To put our best foot forward through a customer's perspective via our website, email communication or the phone. A basic part of the email standpoint is to use effective email directly to each individual per their inquiry (basically to ensure we answer any question a potential customer may have given us) or to use a mass emailing to elicit a response. Mass emailing must be targeted unless I want to run the risk of a high opt-out rate which would lead to ISP's or Internet Service Providers like Yahoo!, MSN and AOL to view our IP address as a SPAM generator.  This I do and have done for years. In fact, I have probably sent out more than 500,000 emails in my career to prospective and current customers. This week was much the same as any other communication.

For those of you in a position of responsibility, you know you have many distractions- your people, contemporaries, supervisors, owners, manufacturers, customers, your daily process, etc., etc., etc.  In other words, MANY distractions. For those of you who are not supervisors, you have many distractions as well: Life, home, friends, etc. I am no different.

With the Christmas holiday right around the corner and then the end of the year next, I had been aiming to send out a mass email to our unsold prospects, and had been trying all day to get it written and compiled before it was too late in the day on Monday the 23rd of December. Unfortunately, I had been unable to complete this task due to many distractions until around 4:00 that afternoon. Long after I knew people would be reading this email at their morning break at work.

A couple of hours later, I received a very threatening voice mail on my mobile phone that if I wanted "my side of the story" to be heard on a "national article about the dealership" and to be named in it myself, I was to call back before the end of the night.  I normally don't do well when people try to threaten me- after having been under direct fire before words have little effect in causing me any anxiety. Out of managerial duty and curiosity I returned the call and the person confirmed it was him- we shall call him Larry.

Larry started on a line of questioning like he was an attorney so I was quickly on the guard, and I asked him what he in fact did for a living. He informed me he writes articles for national magazines like Time and such. Terrific.

I asked how I could help him and he started to tell me how I had lied to him. Okay sir, you now have my attention.

"How did I do that to you?" I asked.

"By emailing me that I had previously made an inquiry by email to buy a car.  I had not had I?"

"No sir, you did not. I see you were in for service previously, and had not made an inquiry about a purchase. That was my mistake."

But he persisted and again said I lied to him. I told him I had made a mistake and it was an oversight for which I held myself responsible.

The third time he called me a liar I pushed back hard. "THAT is enough!" I said. "You will not call me a liar again. I have owned up to the mistake, I have apologized repeatedly, what more can I do? What more do you want from me?"

It was at that exact moment I realized I was being attacked by evil. God had given me the patience and words to endure this withering assault against my character, my store, my job and my family.

His mood instantly changed and we spent the next 30 minutes talking about his experiences while photographing various topics. I viewed his website and some of his images and I couldn't help but think to myself "I'm the liar?" Every one of his photos were no doubt photographed with high performance SLR cameras with filters to capitalize and emphasize the lighting. Perhaps even digital manipulation.

In other words, every one of those photographs, as they were depicted, never truly happened.  Ironic.

I even went on to edify him, lauding his vast experience and accomplishments, and thanked him for his insight and bringing this to my attention. I don't think he knew quite what to do.

After hanging up I was quite upset, not quite angry, but still shaken. Surprisingly, I was not nearly as agitated as I would have ordinarily been.

When my GM came in the following day, I knew he was going to be calling the customer back so I gave him back-fill from my experience and he just smirked, shaking his head.  He went on to tell me how this "gentleman" came to be our customer.

He had come in just a couple of days before I started in August, and complained about how he was not treated well with two of our competitive stores, one of which has written a book on customer service. He had come in for a major service and insisted on meeting the mechanics whom would be working on his car. Not a bad idea.

Bending over backwards to earn his business, Ken asked the customer if our manufacturer had offered him any sort of coupon for his experience and he said no, they had not. So Ken then directs the service department to sell the service at cost for him.  Then right in front of Ken, this person pulls out a $500 coupon from the manufacturer and hands it to the service writer.

"Wait, I thought you said they didn't give you a coupon" my GM asked him.

"Oh yeah, well, I bitched a little more and they sent me one. I just want to get the best deal possible."

No, you just wanted to lie and steal from a company in the auspices of good faith.

This made me even angrier than I was before. A low-life scum bag like this accuses ME of lying. Someone who has never amounted to much of anything, probably never will, trying to pull someone else down to make himself feel better. His inflated resume is just that- inflated. Surely someone whom has contributed to TIME magazine for example would rank somewhere in search results, but no. The ONLY references I could find for him were the aforementioned website of his and an introductory page about him on an equine-focused website.

It is clear this person is devoid of a moral compass and peace. He is clearly hurting and probably doesn't know why. All I can do is forgive him and pray for him.

Some lessons to take from this encounter:

1. Hurting people hurt other people. 
2. The more someone tells you how great they are, the less likely it is they have accomplished anything they are building up in your mind.
3. Liars think other people lie. (Or at least think sales people will sit quietly and take it)
4. God extends us grace though we do not deserve it. Some people expect perfection from others and extend no grace. Perhaps they enjoy seeing the other person fail or they are purposely creating an environment to exploit to their advantage.
5. Even when confronted with a situation like this, with His word and guidance, a Christian can defend themselves AND not destroy the other person with their spoken word.

The Importance of Timing in Your Life

Watching the videos below you can see some similarities between these two professionals and their swings. Each composes himself with balance and poise. One focusing on a moving object and the other on a much smaller stationery one. Each is noteworthy in their respective fields. Each is of a similar build, not over-developed muscular-wise.

If you have ever watched a natural hitter like Ken Griffey Jr, below, you notice a quick, fluidic, effortless swing which generates great batspeed and thus massive power.

Or perhaps you are more familiar with the phenomenon known as Tiger Woods:

Notice neither of these men are particularly BIG physically like Arnold Schwarzenegger for example. Rather they are tall and lean. There are few instances in which massive people like Arnold have the finesse for such skills as hitting a home run or a 400 yard drive.  Yet they make it look so easy.

For anyone out there whom has played either sport and gotten THAT hit, the one where there was no resistance of the ball against the bat or the club. That hit in the "Sweet spot" where you weren't even sure if you made contact for everything met at just the right moment and the right space in time.

So what is it about these swings that make them so beautiful and desirous to recreate?

Watching these videos and even listening to the experts' analysis of Wood's swing we can glean these are finely tuned athletes with extraordinary muscle control, but there is one critical ingredient laying right before our eyes like an elephant in the room yet no one mentions it at all:

TIMING. 
The old cliche' "Timing is everything" is a cliche' because it is so true. There is nothing like showing up 15 minutes late to work, for your flight or to miss dinner at home with your family to make you realize that. NASCAR and NHRA fans understand timing. Expert marksmen and hunters understand it. Comedians and actors live and die by it.

With exceptional timing and being in tune with their body, these athletes show us what it is like to have the right timing for maximum result with less than maximum effort for they know by FORCING it or trying harder, they will fail to get the results they desire. In baseball it will be a pop fly because the tension in Griffey's muscles will squeeze the bat too hard and cause a slight drop in the bat angle leading to too much undercut. Or Woods will pull his hands in too close to his body and end up with a huge slice to the right. Instead, they realize by slowing down and keeping the proper timing, they will get extraordinary results.

The other thing I would point out too is once these athletes commit to their swing, there is no hesitation. No second-guessing. Once it commences, there is no reservation whatsoever. They are committed to it and execute it quickly.

Jesus of course realized the importance of timing also. For 30 years he labored as an obedient carpenter before breaking out into the role God had in store for Him. Waiting for His time and calling, Jesus was faithful, making the most of his craft while biding His time. He lived in the moment, not looking forward to the future. We humans are often looking to the future- to get off work, go on vacation, to eat, etc. Too often I hear people wishing their lives away by saying things like "I wish it were Friday" or "I am just killing time." These are powerful statements that provide us a glimpse into the psyche of that person.

But there's so much more to it than just Jesus waiting 30 years for His first miracle. Consider how He NEVER seemed to be in a hurry. Waiting for 30 years to perform His work. People would implore him to come and heal this person for they are sick and but he would deliberately take his time. This resulted in two ill people actually dying before He could arrive. But of course if He had hurried He would not have resurrected  Lazarus and Jairus' little girl in Mark 5:21-43. In Mark 4 we see Jesus and the disciples leaving a large crowd behind to travel to the far side of the sea. He spent 40 days fasting in the wilderness.

He was never in a hurry because He was on GOD'S TIME! As it turned out, we see Lazarus and the little girl raised from the dead not just simply healed, a much greater miracle. His waiting for God's timing made these larger miracles. Leaving the crowds hungry for His Word and works made them pursue Him rather than sitting back, having been satisfied and feeling as though they had heard all they needed to know. They knew there was more so they pursued Him out of faith and hunger.

You don't have to go THAT far out of your comfort zone to
see a Big return on your investment!

Too often we are satisfied and comfortable with our walk and thus will not get out of our comfort zone to grow. Growing ourselves can be a scary proposition for the truly experience growth, we have to get outside our personal boundaries and push ourselves into uncharted territory.

Be that as it may, it is clear to me, whether you believe in God or not, we are all in place as a part of a plan. One that is orchestrated with an intellect and perfection we cannot begin to comprehend, but can be obedient to. God places us in positions for a reason but this reason may not be immediately clear. It may not even be for our own benefit but perhaps for someone around us. It has taken me more than a decade to begin to appreciate the lessons God has intended for me as a disciple but I was too proud in my walk to hear what He would have me to hear.

I now realize I may have been in a storm, but it was really a season. A season of understanding and openness with myself and God.  What I am trying to say is, when I entered this stormy season, I was upset and asked "Why me?" and I now realize the time for that part of my life had come to an end though I desperately clung to it and I needed to  LET GO first before I could take the next step.  Unfortunately, I was disobedient, trying to hold on too long and ultimately had to be humbled before I could begin to hear the lesson He would have me to hear.  I had to be removed from one career path to one substantially lower in esteem than the one I was on. That was not the humbling part for me. It was to stop asking "Why me" and start asking "Why NOT me?" and to thank Him for the grace He extended to me despite my disobedience.

What is just beyond YOUR comfort zone? What is just out of reach that God would hand to you? Reach out your hand and take it from Him for He is a loving Father and you are a beloved child of His. What father would deny his child anything beneficial for them? Commit to your swing right now. Take that step and watch what happens next in your life.

Work really IS restful...with the right outlook!

The other day someone asked me what I would do if I won the lottery.  I responded "I would take some time with my family, line up some things I would like to sponsor and donate to and then find an opportunity for me to do what I love to do."

"You would go back to work?" they asked incredulously, so I asked what they would do. "Oh, man, I would buy a car, a new home, vacation anywhere, do nothing," etc., etc., etc.

We've all know people like this. And they are truly living an imbalanced life. Personally, I have noticed I go  stir crazy if I have 3 days off with nothing to do. I get owly and irritable and my family really notices this. I am quite aware because I don't like the way I feel. Why is that? Am I unusual? I know almost everyone says they wouldn't work, and perhaps not doing what they are doing now, but I believe they would in fact find something to do lest they would become quite miserable.

Why is that?  I believe it is abundantly clear God made our bodies and minds to work, not perpetually rest. It has been relatively well-established people are less like to be diagnosed with dementia if they are daily using their brain- reading, doing puzzles, in other words, exercising their minds. Genesis 2:15 reads God put Adam into the Garden of Eden to work it, to work it for God. It was entrusted to man by God so Adam's work of the garden would have been a form of worship.

Then we messed it up and God admonished Adam saying in Genesis 3:17-19 “Cursed is the ground because of you; through painful toil you will eat food from it all the days of your life.
¹⁸ It will produce thorns and thistles for you, and you will eat the plants of the field.
¹⁹ By the sweat of your brow you will eat your food until you return to the ground, since from it you were taken; for dust you are and to dust you will return.” 
 

It is clear when you look at these two chapters together in context, the initial premise of work was in fact to be a joyful thing for man and was later subjugated to a chore secondary to our sinful nature. Since God had already designed man with the intent of  having him work the garden it can only mean work is supposed to fulfill a basic need and worship God.

Likewise, most people are familiar with the feeling after a good workout. I am not referring to something like a scene out of Rocky or running a marathon. I am talking about an exercise regimen or physical activity which raises the pulse a little. Our body was designed to release endorphins (Endogenous Morphine) into the bloodstream when it is exerted, or worked. This creates an euphoric sensation causing a great feeling when we are done exercising. Likewise, when we are in the right spirit, we will feel, maybe not euphoric after a day at work, but certainly more fulfilled.

God INTENDED for us to work our bodies to help keep us healthy and balanced. I am unaware of any other machine in the world which actually strengthens when it is used.

Furthermore, we have seen the side-effects of a sedentary lifestyle; today, Americans are by far the fattest and most unhealthy they have been in our history, and are more than likely in the #1 position in the world for obesity. Not something to brag about.

Even God himself "worked" 6 days before resting. Why would we be any different?  Were we not made in His likeness? But there's more to the story.

As a Christian, it is incumbent upon us to work well for our employer as a form of worship for our Father. Think about it for a second- particularly if you work in an job which seems like you are alone: You alone are the light of the Father in that dark place. Executing your job with joy and a sense of fulfillment will exemplify the role God has in mind for us.

We all dream of bigger, better jobs, with more pay, but remember the parable of the talents? Matthew 25:14-30 tells us how a master entrusted three servants with talents. 2 increased their gift while the third kept his hidden. This angered the master and he was no longer trusted with more than he already had. If he could not be trusted with a little more, how could he be trusted with a lot more blessing in his life? It is not by accident I think this is a parable on talents. In other words, the talents God has given you are not to be buried or kept hidden (see my article on the lessons to be learned from Christopher Maloney's audition on X-Factor).

When we realize we are worshiping God with our works by working with joy and passion, we are honoring Him and we should then naturally become less focused on the job and what our tasks are and more focused on worshiping God by being a good employee. This will clear our mind and open our heart to be more at rest.  Look at the three men at the top of this article- which one would you prefer to work with? Which one looks like he is a good employee?  


But there is more to the story: We have all heard of a restless heart. Someone who is impatient and seemingly ready to leave at the drop of a hat for something better. They are constantly on the hunt for the grass on the other side of the fence. I always wondered why this is and I believe it is because they have a restless heart. A heart at rest will find peace and joy in its current surroundings, a restless cannot be at peace. Thus, we see people who job hop, overeat, overspend, overdrink, be overly active, are too plugged into society to find their center and balance themselves.  Wise is the person who realizes this and sets about to make a change.

I made this change myself about a month ago. I stopped listening to my news talk radio and music and started listening to things to make me grow and learn. I can tell you from my personal experience, I am less tired at the end of the day, seem to get more done daily, and have grown more in my faith in the past few weeks than I have in the previous ten years. I felt I was in a good walk but now realize I was but a toddler stumbling along my path and now realize how much more there is for me to know and grow.

Put this to action in your life:

1. Find some time in the day to UNPLUG!  Turn off the phone, the social media, radio, tv. Be quiet, and reflect on who you are, what you have been given and whom you might be able to help. But start with yourself! Starting your day by watching the news is a great way to start looking at the world through a prism of negativity so refrain from watching/reading news.
2. Spend time listening to things that will improve you during your commute or during your lunch.
3. Start finding miracles in the small things in your life and be thankful for them, as trivial as they may seem. 
4. Lastly and perhaps most importantly, be thankful for the job you have now. Realize your boss may not be the greatest in the world, but they too are human, have ambitions and fears and could benefit from an employee like you, worshiping God by being the best employee they have ever had!

Are you a BELIEVER, or are you a FOLLOWER?

Watching my friend getting baptized this weekend, one gentleman who preceded him stated he WAS a believer, but NOW is a FOLLOWER. That comment really resonated with me because for many years I have been a believer, but not necessarily a follower. During my walk I have been struggling to find the answer to what He would have me to do, and I realized not long ago I am in the desert because I was not following Him.

I posed this question recently to friends and not surprisingly, some like me, had not considered the difference between the two.

In the military when we were operating in a tactical environment with dozens of people moving around relying solely on their abilities to navigate and find key points to rally, people would often times not be at the assigned point and time in order to gather everyone together to accomplish the mission.  The one or two stragglers or folks who got lost, weren't disobeying their leaders or TRYING to fail. Rather, they were simply not following their leaders as closely as they should/could have.  They relied on themselves and in the bigger picture, their perspective failed not only them but those around them as well.

When I realized the error of my ways, and made a substantial change, I immediately felt more energized at work despite working 6 days a week for between 8-12 hours. I no longer felt as fatigued and stressed and now my family is benefiting from this. They are no longer getting my leftovers and a grouchy impatient husband and father.  I only wish I had been able to accomplish this much earlier for my sons. I was very difficult at times.

So, what is a believer, and, what makes someone a follower?Jesus is a leader today, but he followed God for his first 30 years before stepping fully into the leadership role God the Father had in store for his final 3 years on Earth. 

Below He illustrates the first maxim of leadership to Peter by serving or following first before leading men.

Jesus washes Peter's feet. An act of devotion and serving.

A believer is someone who, has accepted Christ as their Saviour and has received the anointing of the Holy Spirit as a believer. Call it Christianity 101 if you will.  They are often fervent and passionate about the Word and grace they have received. Hungry for more exposure to the Lord and plugged in so to speak about their church perhaps. Sharing with others their new-found faith and forgiveness.  This is an all-important first step, the significance of which cannot be overstated, for without first believing there can be NO following.  However, the new believer may not yet have a complete submission to God in all facets of their life.

For example, as a child, we mostly follow our parents' guidance for two reasons; positional authority and our innate belief they have our best interests at heart. This is true even though at times we don't understand why they may "rain on our parade" as it were. We lament to them "but everyone else is doing it (or going)". Sometimes we might rebel and defend it saying to ourselves "They just don't understand", thus justifying our disobedience and the breaking of their trust and wishes.

That doesn't take us away from being their child or even being faithful to them, just as a sheep may stray from the herd doesn't mean it no longer has faith in the shepherd. The child will learn a lesson from the disobedience, which is a part of the growing process, and the sheep likewise, will in kind follow the shepherd once again.

As we grow in our walk and become more and more spiritual as a follower, we learn at a far greater pace what God has in store for us. And we have to- it is simple physiology. When we take our eyes off a distraction and focus on the goal, we accomplish many things.  As a follower of Christ, our eyes are, by definition, upon Him and not on the earthly distractions. I firmly feel this is where "Christians" like the ilk of Westboro Baptist are so far astray from the walk with the Lord they are actually doing more harm than good. While they may believe, they are most certainly not following. I can say this with great faith for in John 8:1-11 Jesus forgave the adulterous woman when no legalist remained free of sin to cast the first stone. He forgave the sinner OF  the sin, and BECAUSE of the sin. WBC is proclaiming GOD killed our sons in battle because the Army is permitting homosexuals in it's ranks. That viewpoint cannot be reconciled with the heart and teachings of Jesus. It is clearly contradictory to anyone who is truly forgiven.

A Christian pointing his finger at sin does not realize he has THREE fingers pointing back at himself!

Furthermore, were there any Truth to their belief, would not ALL soldiers necessarily be condemned to the same sentence as their fallen comrades?

By following, we also receive better discernment on how to contend with sticky situations whether they be professional or personal, like how to help show the light to a non-believer.  This is critical for followers, for in order to be a good leader, you must FIRST, be a good follower. This of course is why people cannot simply start at a major corporation as a Vice-President or CEO without the commensurate experience. Likewise, Generals are not born into the army as they used to be but rather molded through experiences as a subordinate. Can you imagine a judge with no legislative experience hearing a case? A doctor having not completely subordinated themselves to their medical professors' experience and leadership? It simply could not happen in this world.

So the question falls to you now. Are you a believer or a follower?  If I can make the same type of impact on someone else I just received then that will bless me for my remaining days.