Are you a model for your family to follow to Christ?

Continuing from my last post, during our conversation, Gene mentioned his children had indicated they did not want to go to church. He had taken them for the first 6 months and said that was all they had to do. After that it would be up to them to attend. He was now concerned they did not WANT to go to church any longer.

What immediately occurred to me was perhaps they did not see a substantial change in his persona or how he behaved as the head of the house. There is little doubt God has used many people with various backgrounds as new followers to be the testimony for Him in their circles of friend. When there is a substantial change in the behavior and beliefs of someone who may have been an alcoholic or perhaps into drugs and then a sudden shift in their lives takes them away from that, most people want to know WHAT changed them. These are some of the most powerful testimonies for Christ- the stark contrast from what we are accustomed to from that person to an upstanding person and a leader now. It will either prompt someone to ask what is going on and how do I get that or to condemn the person as being a fake and saying "I know your history."

Whatever the outcome, there are needless to say millions of examples of these amazing transformations. Consider the story of Saul of Tarsus who became the Apostle Paul. Saul was responsible the imprisonment and death of many Christians, and was feared, yet God used him mightily as an Apostle and as an author of much of the New Testament.

So here we were, having a discussion, one father to another, and I so desperately wanted to "pounce" and tell him what I thought.

Notice what I wrote there? TELL HIM WHAT I THOUGHT? That is the LAST thing I should have done. How could that have been conveyed other than a sanctimonious arrogant jerk thinking I am better than him.

Perhaps the better tact is to use examples of Paul and others in later conversations and discuss how those dramatic changes of heart have led many to Christ, or to be able to quote scripture like James 1:19,20 - Be slow to wrath, because the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God. Anger is often a parent's Achilles's heel. With the stresses we face every day at work, we can sometimes lash out and hurt those we love most.

Perhaps if Gene had been doing this at home and then suddenly changed, I think his kids would be more inclined to follow him to church.

Is that fair of me to insinuate or presume to know what kind of parent he is? No, but I have picked up tidbits here and there and can make an assumption of how he might behave at home, and when taken in context with his concerns about his kids' not wanting to go to church, it makes sense.

The only problem- I am JUDGING him, which is very dangerous. Until we know all the facts, have walked in his steps, we are not able to accurately understand his motivations and therefore cannot and should not judge. This is best left to God and His infinite wisdom to condone/condemn us for our actions.

Now imagine if I had made the comment about his not changing enough at home to make his children want to go to church and he needs to look at himself when he is actually a loving and caring father his sons would do anything for?

That is the danger of presuming to know what is in the heart of your friend and being able to tell them how to live their lives when you are not as perfect as you think you are which I wrote about earlier in Are Your Glasses Clean?. I would have stepped right into the one trap so many Christians are guilty of doing, or at least are perceived to do to non believers. And whether it is true or not, perception IS reality.

Prayer is the only answer for a situation like this unless you are clergy and they are seeking your advice. For the layperson, we must support and pray for Divine wisdom to be given to Gene in his situation which is what I would want if I was in his position: a friend, not a friend judging me.

Planting the seed...

The other day I had the chance to meet with a friend one evening. He called and said his wife was having a shower or something of the sort at their home so he needed to get out for a while. We met at a neighborhood cigar store and sat outside in the pleasant Texas evening enjoying the sunset and the relaxation of a nice cigar and great fellowship.

Gene and I had worked together previously at a dealership where we met. I took an instant liking to him despite many differences in our lives, but perhaps because of parallel ideals. He has 3 children, is a veteran, and has very similar political views. He is also well-read and a bit of an intellect for someone who has not completed a degree of advanced study(I hope that does not sound arrogant or elitist, it is not intended to).

We had many passionate discussions about American history, current affairs and bringing up a family, though when we turned to religion, Gene had no use for organized religion. He was against it based on the experience he has had in the past with what he felt pastors being more about the offering than the message. Gene had not attended church as a child, a few times in the Navy, but really was not what I would call a religious man, though he did believe in God and Jesus Christ. Like many newcomers to the faith, or perhaps more to his point, casual Christians who are not "all in" in their faith, Gene had several issues with trying to resolve real life with what the Bible says. Thus, he had it set in his head he didn't need to go to church.

I shared with him the need to commune with others of similar belief, and that "religion" is man-made. By that I mean religion is faith combined with rituals we may find comfort in to augment our church-going experience. The need to commune with others is very real. We need to be there for others in their moment of need just as we need them in our time of need. If we only went to church when WE felt the need to be lifted up, no one would be there when things were going smoothly and everyone there would be having difficult times. It is much easier to be a positive when things are going your way.

I suggested perhaps they needed to find a more scriptural-based church to meet his needs. I didn't try to push too hard because I knew I would become one of "those" who had alienated Gene all along to worshiping our God in church.

Not long after that, Gene suggested we meet Sunday after church with the fam to fellowship. It was great. I saw a new gleam in his eyes and he was quick to point out some of the lessons they had learned in the sermon and how he felt it might apply to him.

Now, nearly two years after that initial conversation, Gene and his family are now regularly attending a church he loves. He says every sermon seems to be aimed right at him and his pastor is fearless, and is willing to tackle contemporary issues like teen-age promiscuity, acting like a Christian. These are very convicting sermons. We have a number of "mega-churches" in our are of Dallas here. Some with congregations of over 20,000 people. We have watched some of the sermons on t.v. and have not impressed with the message too much. It seems very "watered down" or too easy-going. They seem more concerned with getting people in the doors and not offending them than truly giving a message Jesus would be proud of.

I ramble. The point of this post is to stress when you are witnessing for Christ, the most important thing to bear in mind is to be a friend first, and understand if you have the chance to witness and try to win someone to Christ, you may not be able to completely win them all by yourself, especially in one discussion. You are planting the seed. Someone else will water it. Someone else will cultivate it. Someone else will harvest that seed. Each step is critical in His work, and the ultimate glory be to Him in the highest, regardless of what role YOU had! You will still be responsible for the actions/inactions you take with those around you as you walk in His way.

Did those conversations make a difference in Gene's life? I would say so, but so did his interaction with my wife and children, seeing how we are an integrated family with a faithful servant's heart (I hope!) and being disciples of Christ, and so did his interactions with other Christian friends. Ultimately, it was not what I said, but what the Holy Spirit said THROUGH

me and others. People from my friend Jipu's ministry Win Bangladesh handing out tracts for Christ



Plant that seed today- you never know how large that vine will grow and how much fruit it will bear for the Kingdom!

Standing up to Challenges

Every day, or most every day at least, we are faced with challenges. Personal, professional, environmental, financial, familial, health, the list is quite daunting if you think about it. Yet we persevere for the most part and overcome obstacles every day of our lives to do what we need to do to survive or be happy.

But every once in a while, along comes a challenge we seem to shrink from. We lose our determination, our faith to see it through, and sometimes even the direction to do so. At times the challenge can seem so overwhelming you may throw up your hands and retreat in fear. What to do?

Can you think of a serious challenge you were faced with? What did you do when you faced a situation you did not think you could face and overcome? How serious was it? Some are life-threatening. Others may be harmful to your profession or health.

There are many instances in which the Bible talks about people overcoming huge odds to fulfill what seemed like overwhelming odds- Noah, Moses, David, Nehemiah, just to name a few.

Most Christians are familiar with these characters, though Nehemiah may escape many. Nehemiah was faced with a challenge when he was called to repair the walls of Judah when they had been destroyed.

This was no ordinary call- God called Nehemiah to restore the wall of Jerusalem. A wall was of the utmost importance to a city in that day. It was not only a symbol of their wealth but obviously a security device, and one which provided a sense of community. To not have a wall caused great embarrassment and heartache, and left the people vulnerable to attack.

Consider your own home if it had no walls. Your life is completely open to all around you to impose their will. A very difficult position to be in to say the least.

Nehemiah petitioned his King, Artaxerxes, to be permitted to leave for a period to accomplish this work. Imagine that for a moment- asking your king to go serve someone else for a while. That would be quite a task in and of itself.

But the challenges came later when Nehemiah arrived in Judah. Sanballat, Tobiah, the Arabs, the Ammonites and the men of Ashdod heard what the Jews were trying to accomplish and were critical. With the wall, the Jews would be more secure and less vulnerable to their will. This would not do.

The potentially imminent threat of attack forced the Jews to build the wall while maintaining a vigilance against attack from their enemies. The had spears and swords at the ready while laboring in the sun. Building a wall was challenging enough, but to be asked to do so in the heat AND be prepared to fight at a moment's notice as well? The stress must have been insurmountable. If that was not enough, the men also pulled guard duty at night to ensure the city was defended.

With God's help, the wall was completed in only 52 days- far shorter a time than the enemies of Jerusalem had expected, so they KNEW this was God's work and feared it mightily, knowing an attack on the city was an attack on God himself.

Do you think you are any different? Do you think, if you are doing God's work you are any less blessed than the people of Jerusalem? Of course not. Our walls are different today, but they are torn and attacked every day by our enemies. Strengthen YOUR walls by realizing God's will is being done in your life. Thank Him for the challenges He has given you for the greater the challenge, the greater the faith and the greater character that is developed.