The Spiritual Leader of the House

We all pretty much know what happened with Adam and Eve in the garden when they were tempted with the fruit of the tree of knowledge- they failed in their test. But the punishment for each was different. The punishment for Eve was lighter than Adam's as Eve was tempted by Satan himself and Adam was tempted by Eve. But I think there may be something more as well. In Genesis 3:8 when the LORD walked in the Garden, he called out to Adam, not Eve, for Adam was the spiritual leader of the couple. His penalty for being enticed by Eve to eat of the forbidden fruit was a life of toil and sweat on his brow. Eve's penalty, though some may argue, was less in the pain of child bearing and a monthly reminder.

The point is since Adam was the spiritual leader of the couple, God sought him for accountability, and since Adam did nothing to rebuke Eve for eating but rather ate as well, his punishment was (and should have been) greater. The same goes for believers. Those who are ministers and preach will be judged most harshly as they should be more in tune with the Word and any err they commit is potentially more profound because of their leadership position. Same with corrupt judges. Those who do not uphold the law will answer to the Lord for their transgressions against their authority.

In light of this, if you are a husband and/or father, are YOU the Spiritual Leader of you Home? If you are not, you better be because come Judgment Day, there are no excuses, only those who did and did not. Deuteronomy 4:9, 10; 6:6, 7; 11:19 talks about the teaching of your children while Ephesians 5:25, 28, 33 talks about how to be the leader of your spouse. One of my favorite verses is Ephesians 5:24, not for the wife to submit to the husband, but because men so often quote that verse and forget the more important 25th verse: Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and^AZ)"> gave himself up for her. In other words, if you have the same love for your wife as Christ did for the church, your wife will want to follow you as her leader.

Think about it. The last time you were in a difficult, perhaps even dangerous situation, you may have thought to yourself I wish there was someone here to tell me what to do. If there had been, what if they did not have YOUR best interest at heart? Would you have followed them? Would you have put yourself in a potentially hazardous position on their behalf? What if it was someone you would do anything for? Your family? Perhaps your partner if you are a cop or firefighter, maybe your battle buddy in the military. There are some bonds stronger than family, but regardless of the relationship, the illustration is the same, and the answer is the same.

You WOULDN'T follow someone who did not have your best interest at heart, but you would put infinite faith in someone whom you care for deeply. Why is that?

Faith. You have more faith in your securing a positive outcome for yourself with someone you trust and care for much more than for someone who do not have a vested interest in your welfare.

Think about the pig and the chicken. If you have bacon and eggs for breakfast, the chicken has an interest, but the pig is fully vested.

Are you fully vested with your spouse and children? Do you build them up and have the love and patience Christ has for you? Probably not, unless you are perfect or someone who is highly unusual (not a bad thing). It is just that we tend to love ourselves more than we love others which makes it so difficult to do.

So how do you do it?

1 day at a time. Pray for wisdom and strength, and for the Holy Spirit to guide you and for the Lord to open your eyes and ears to the needs of your family. Make sure you make time for them and demonstrate how important their happiness is in your life. Before you know it, you will be living for others, and your life will be transformed in ways you cannot believe.

Are your glasses clean?

Perception. It is a funny thing. Given a scenario, any scenario, given to 100 different people, you may well get 100 different interpretations of the same scenario. Take for example the exercise of 30 people sitting next to each other. A moderator whispers something into the ear of the first person and has them whisper it to the next and pass it on until it gets to the last person at the far end. They then tell the moderator what they heard and it usually so far from what was originally spoken it barely resembles the initial story.

Why is that?

I believe the answer is our perception. Our life experiences has prejudiced us in certain manners to perceive what we see, hear, smell and even taste to make it a personal experience and one we can categorize for future reference. Call it the glasses through which you experience life, if you will.

These glasses are the filters we experience most everything, especially new things, through. Because of this, we often become jaded and biased for seemingly baseless reasons. This can make it difficult for other people to understand what we are thinking when we say or do something in response to a given situation. They pass judgement on us based on how THEY would have acted (or more properly, how they THINK they would have acted) and consequently, unwittingly foist their values on the other person, and perhaps never understanding what challenges that person is facing.

The key is to remain free of prejudice by clearing your mind and looking at everyone with clean glasses. There is a reason engineers and scientists pay a lot of money for the best optics when it comes to building a laser or a powerful telescope/microscope. The slightest imperfection, even if unseen by the human eye, can stop a devices' ability to bring objects into clear view. A scope is only as good as the poorest component (lens), and that component becomes the mechanism by which a faint distant star or perhaps a new modality of medical treatment may be discovered. The glass must be of utmost purity, free of defects, scratches or contaminants, no matter the expense.

Why would our eyes, ears, nose and mouth be any different? Our senses far exceed the capabilities of the most powerful computers in the world, and yet we constantly allow contaminants to impair our perception and judgement. Why?

Is it apathy or laziness? Ignorance? Well, for each person, the explanation is different. Some don't care, (apathy), don't want to know any better (laziness) or simply don't know the difference (ignorance). It could be said a fourth reason is stupidity, which, in my opinion is when ignorance is overcome, and the individual refuses to realize the lesson which overcomes ignorance.

I think this may be the very reason we are quick to point out the speck in our neighbor's eye but cannot see the plank in our own Matthew 7:3-5. This passage has always made me try to THINK before I say something. We never know what has happened in someone's life that has gotten them to where they are, and because of that, we must strive to be more Christ-like when interacting with our brothers and sisters. When we can all do that, we will achieve a great victory in mastering ourselves and our faith.

Perhaps more significantly, we will give others less reason to judge us on the same grounds as we have judged them, and in the end be a better witness for Christ. Like a pure prism or lens can let out the true colors of light for us to see individually, a pure heart and mind enables us to see the true colors of our neighbors, free of prejudice.

How clean are your glasses?

Are you wrestling with your faith?

My oldest son Michael is about to wrap up his short wrestling career. He started just 4 years ago and progressed significantly under the direction of a remarkably talented coach at the high school.

During one of his last matches, it occurred to me there is a strong parallel between what we were watching in athletic competition and what we as bleievers go through every day. I watched as one of our kids was really man-handling another wrestler, and by the look on his face, the other boy had no idea what to do to escape.

Truth be told, there was nothing he could have done. Our wrestler was far-too talented and skilled to be beaten unless he made a mistake. It was almost poetry in motion. Every move his opponent made he was already prepared to counter and then attack with a move of his own. It was so unfair I genuinely felt bad for the other boy. It seemed like no matter what he tried, no matter how hard he fought, he was stymied at every turn. There was no one there to help, only a passive judge (the referee) who kept tally of the contest.

I marvelled at the similarity of this competition I was witnessing and wondered if others saw the same symbolism as me. My guess is probably not.

But the good news is that is pretty much where the similarities end! If you are a Christian, you KNOW the Lord is with you (although sometimes we do forget that), and through Him, all things are possible. Have you ever been though? Feeling pinned down, physically exhausted and emotionally drained as you are attacked from seemingly every angle of your life? Why is it seems things go badly all at once? What do you do about it? Do you internalize and bottle everything up, let everyone else know about your difficulty, or pray?

I hope the answer is you pray. Praise Him for all the blessings you have, and for the strenght to weather this storm in His name. Pray to learn what He would have you to learn from this lesson, and to be able to reach out to others and lift them up as well.

This is not easy- when you feel like your boat is being tossed about on the sea and you are about to go under, one of the last things most people think of is reaching out into the cold dark sea to lift another one out of the water when it is all you can do to stay afloat. But that is exactly what God would have you to do!

It is easy to be cheerful and upbeat when everything is going great and your way. Who can't do that? But the real test of character is when things are tough, you are unsure yourself, and you think "I am the only one going through this". You may be the ONLY one going throught EXACTLY your circumstances, but truth is, you will be amazed at how many others who seemingly have it all together are in deeper water than you. All you have to do is ask

Years ago, when my professional career was spiraling out of control, I admired my next door neighbor. Dave was on his game- medical sales, working the phone, setting appointments, closing business and making a great living. I languished in several short-term jobs while he maintained a strong professional life. I was envious because I had been there not long before, and had it all taken away for some reason. I had let it embitter me, and felt how unfair it was to my family.

Then one day Dave shows up on my door step. He had been crying for some time. We sat down in my office and he told me his wife wanted a divorce. Their little boy was about 3 at the time and he was Dave's pride and joy, yet something had terribly gone wrong. His wife was very controlling, and finally things came to a head. I felt so ashamed of the envy I had felt, especially when he shared with me he had envied ME with the close relationship my wife and I enjoyed. I was sick to my stomach. I had lost sight of what was really important, and more to the point, during my distress, I had withdrawn and not been there for a friend of mine until it was too late.

I still struggle with having to carry the burden I have now and volunteering to take on others with my friends, but I force myself to. I am trying to do the same with this blog in the hopes it helps just one person with an "aha" moment.

We must remember when we are wrestling with our challenges, all we need to do is keep our eyes, heart, ears and faith upon Him, and we will become the champions, while witnessing to those around us. So many times I hear someone who was tested in a very difficult situation how they made it through the ordeal and they often say they knew God was with them all the way. It doesn't matter how much bigger your "opponent" is or how much more "skill" they have, for the Lord is your might,

Isn't it comforting knowing no matter what, He still loves you and WILL be there for you? All you have to do is ask.

Be blessed.

How Should I Pray?

One of the many questions I had when I first became a believer is how do I pray to God? What do I pray for? Matthew 6:5-13 answers the question, and tells us how NOT to pray.

"And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by men. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full."

“But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. ⁷And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words. ⁸Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him"

By the verse, here is what Jesus is telling us:

• Verse 5: We are to pray in secret, not the way people did in His day -- praying out loud publicly, primarily to just be seen, and heard.
• Verse 6: Jesus asks us to go to a private place since our Heavenly Father already knows what we are going to pray about.
• Verse 7: Jesus tells us not to ramble on and on, as people of other religions do, or be repetitious with words. God, our heavenly Father, would have us be specific about our prayer.
• Verse 8: Jesus reiterates that the believer is not to pray repetitiously like the heathen.

But then, He tells us HOW to do it:

• Verse 9: Jesus says we should give honor to God and His name.
• Verse 10: We are to pray for His Kingdom to come, and for His will to be done, that there would be a heavenly or godly presence here on earth.
• Verse 11: We are to pray for daily provision.
• Verse 12: We are to pray and ask for forgiveness for our sins, and for others who have wronged us.
• Verse 13: We are to pray and ask God to keep us from being tempted, and to deliver us from Satan and his power.

This is where the Lord's Prayer originates from: Our Father who are in heaven, hallowed be your name. Your Kingdom, Your will be done on earth, as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our sins (trespasses), just as we forgive those who have sinned (trespassed) against us. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one, for thine is the kingdom and the glory, forever and ever, Amen.

By reciting the Lord's Prayer, you prepare yourself to commune with God and open your mind and heart to the Holy Spirit so you might better understand the written Word, or to petition God for special requests. Next, thanking Him for your blessings (you have more than you think!) keeps you mindful of how God has provided for your basic needs already.

I always had a hard time imagining the Israelites forgetting what miracles they had seen to deliver them from Pharoah, including manna and water every day except the Sabbath. They had their needs covered every day, yet would follow the wicked in a moment with little hesitation.

Today, we are surrounded my much more wickedness and compelling things to pull us away from God. You must pray for strength and guidance to be a good witness and to be pure of heart.

The prayers you seek must be in your personal life must fit in your purpose. For example, I could pray all day every day to be a professional baseball player, but until I can throw a 95+ mile/hour fastball, I won't be in the majors any time soon. Why not? It is not in God's plan for my life. He has something else in store, so I pray to not miss what He would have me to see and learn.

And it needs to be relevant. Before a game, many players pray to be blessed with a win. I ask "Really?" Do you think God REALLY cares WHO wins this game? I say rather pray to be humble in victory and gracious in defeat so you may be a better witness.

Okay, okay, but when it comes to something real, like a job opportunity, what should I do? What should I pray?

This is difficult as every situation is different, and God frequently speaks very softly (He has not used a burning bush with me and I wish he would because I am a little slow!) so you must listen carefully to what he says. I am challenged by this because if there is a job I think I would do well with and want it, I have to ensure I am not talking myself into it in the guise or direction of God. This can get really tricky.

Don't be afraid to be specific. Pray for a signal. For example, if I am supposed to take this job, I will hear from them by 12:45 tomorrow, for example, and the offer will be for this, this and this, and this person is the one who will contact me. The more specific you become, the less likely it is you will miss the miracle God gives you with whatever you are praying for.

You must pray often, and be patient, for today, the answer maybe "no", "maybe" or "not yet". Remember, His will be done, not mine, and not yours.

And of course, when the blessing comes, all thanks and praise goes to Him.

Do we really worship One God?

One of the main attacks against Christianity is we really worship more than one God. The accusations state we are poly-theistic, or many god-worshipping.

Nothing could be further from the truth, yet it can be difficult to adequately explain in terms non-believers can understand and believe.

Many attempts have been made to equate the three personalities of God (God, Jesus Christ, the Holy Spirit) in more pragmatic terms, like water, ice and steam. While the water molecule remains the same, the principle properties remain the same.

At first glance, this seems like a fair comparison, however, when you consider all three cannot exist at the same time (with the same sample of water), and all phases of water must go through some means of change. Without getting too scientific, the water molecule becomes slightly more displaced in ice than in water (this is what givers ice buoyancy), and very rarified or spaced apart in steam (which is why steam appears like a cloud and lifts up into the atmosphere).

So really, not a great example afterall. What to do?

It occurred to me one day the same question could be posed in every home in the world with a family. Surely, most people do not have 3 distinct men living in a traditional family (husband, wife, children) do they?

Absolutely not. However, there are 3 distinct personalities of a man living in my home.

First, I am my parent's son. This characteristic exhibits certain traits of me and a certain relationship with my parents. This is my first personality because it is the one with which I have the most experience. After all, I was their child first.

Secondly, I am my wife's husband. This is a totally different type of love and commitment than from my parents. Our relationship is much closer and intimate than that of my parents, as it should be. Our love is demonstrated differently, and we have a different love for each other. We would do different things for the other depending on the circumstances. For example, I would give my life for my wife and children, while I would be hard-pressed to do the same for my parents. Not out of selfishness, but because it is the parent's job to protect the child.

Lastly, I am the parent of my children. Again, a different love and different values attached to the relationship I enjoy with my children. The protector, teacher, spiritual leader, provider and foster of the house hold. This form of love is without values or conditions attached. It is unmitigated, unselfish love and a willingness to do anything to help them.

To a greater degree, God is willing to do anything to help US, even sacrificing his own Son for our sins, so His love is even greater than anything you and I can comprehend. All we can do is praise Him, accept the gift for what it is and be prepared to set the record straight when a non-believer accuses us of following more than one God.

You are going to do something great

I had a little difficulty writing this post. I have never shared this with anyone but my wife, and for those of you who know me, you'll understand why.

I am not one to tout myself and toot my own horn. In fact, that is an inherent weakness of mine in the business world as I don't concern myself with telling the boss what I am up to. Rather, I focus on the tasks he gave me and completing them. I abhore the person who is constantly trying to be the center of attention, telling everyone how great they are and what they are doing. Consequently, I do not care for subordinates who do the same, and have no place for them.

This is all about a conversation I had several years ago with a widow, and her comment has haunted me ever since. She was waiting for her vehicle to be finished in the service department, as was I and we started talking about something. What it was I cannot remember, but it was a warm, deep and thought provoking conversation. I do recall her mentioning her husband had died recently, and though she missed him, knew he was in a better place. I remember her face like it was yesterday- thin, middle-aged woman, short short hair with some gray in it. She was a beautiful, elegant lady with an aire of sophistication and perhaps aristocracy.

The bottom line, she was a magnificent lady, and I remember thinking to myself what a shame, at her early age, to have experienced the loss of her beloved husband.

At any rate, something happened that day in our conversation. After a few minutes, and after the discussions became deep and more meaningful, she paused, looking me in the eyes and said "You are going to do something great someday".

I thanked her for her kindness and time, and left. But her words did not sink in until later.

"You are going to do something great someday".

What did she see in me? What did she hear that prompted her to say that to a complete stranger after only a few minutes? At first I was complimented, but it soon turned to a dull echo in my head, sometimes consuming me as I struggled for an answer.

When I was very young, my grandfather took my hands and said "Those are the hands of a ball-player".

As it turned out, that was prophetic. I was gifted in baseball, though my grandpa never had the chance to see me play. I know he would have been proud.

It was in this context that this ladies' words affected me deeply. I had heard it before and it was prophetic, albeit from a relative.

The challenge is, has been and will be to determine what is in store for me, what is God's plan for me. I have had a servant's heart all my life. In fact, when I was 12, I made up my mind I wanted to serve my country as an officer in the military as my father had done, and the only other things that attracted me were similar missions- FBI, fire department, State Police. I hunger to make a difference, and that is something I have missed since I left medical sales. The ability to positively affect people in my profession.

So now what? Am I to run for a public office? Start a charitable organization or support one? Adopt foster children? I don't know, but I pray God to reveal to me what He would have me to do.

What about you? Are you doing God's work? Or are you resisting Him living for yourself and the moment? Nothing is sweeter than being in the blessings of the Lord, knowing you are a good child and faithful servant. In this capacity, you are a powerful witness for God. I pray you are there too.

You have not because you ask not

We were just watching Joel Osteen's message this morning about expecting a flood (#425R - Living Breakthrough Minded) . He said too many of us ask for a trickle or a stream, but few ask for a flood. Too many times we settle for what we have, what we had or what we think we deserve. We have no idea what God has in store for us, and the only way to get there is to pray and ASK for it.

During the message it struck me- I remember how when my children were younger they thought I knew everything, could do anything, could fix anything. I think they would have told you I could have built a nuclear reactor if you had asked them if I could. I remember how proud that would make me feel (even though now they don't think I know how to tie my own shoes!) and what a sense of validation that would give me. That anything they asked me to do I could (and would) do, if I could.

How much greater does God love you than you love your children or parents? How much greater are the blessings he could bestow on you? Knowing He is a jealous God, and He seeks an intimate relation with each of his children , how happy do you think He is when we challenge him to bless us mightily- more so than we dreamed? How proud do you think He is when we ask Him for help, with the faith and innocence my little boys had? Do you think for one second the Father would withhold ANY blessing from you?

Not possible. He wants more for you than you dreamed of. More than you dreamed of asking for.

We have been in this situation. We have been asking for a job to replace what we have lost. I have had many jobs, none of which approach what was taken from us, so recently I decided to start a consulting business to capitalize on my experience over the last several years and leverage it and my relationships to grow a business.

I approached a friend of mine a couple of weeks ago for some financial backing. My business plan is simple, straight forward, and with no overhead save our living expenses, I felt the amount I was asking for would be easy for him to approve and more than adequate for the business' needs.

Rather, I was disappointed when he rejected my plea, saying instead he felt I was thinking too small. He felt I should be seeking some serious start-up capital (the sum makes me queasy), and that would allow me to hit this business hard and grow fast.

The bottom line, as crazy as I think it sounds, I think he was right, and I have redone the plan showing rapid growth and allowing me to bring on several people, a couple of whom have had similar challenges, giving THEM a chance to escape the rat race. (Thank you for your vision and advice George).

I have longed to be able to make a difference in peoples' lives and by thinking big, I will be able to do so sooner, and impact more people than if I just went for what we need.

What is happening in your life, or your families' lives that requires an adjustment in your thinking, in your altitude? Do you need a different perspective? Will it require you to step outside your comfort zone and learn new skills, to push your abilities?

Good! God will not only show you the way, but He will give you the strength, courage and wisdom to make it. He will put people in your path to mentor, assist and guide you. Just ask Him, pray patiently and wait for your answers to appear supernaturally.