Why do we fear a challenge?

A sort of follow up to my March article on Standing up to Challenges, I began wondering on my way home this evening why we shy away from challenges. I was listening to the radio decompressing before I got home and Taylor Swift's A Love Story was playing. In one verse she says "Romeo save me, they try to tell me how to feel; This love is difficult but it is real", and it got me to thinking how many people I know who are separated or divorced. How many people I know who have never faced their potential and chased their dreams. Why is that?

We live in the greatest country in the world. Freedom and liberty enable us to be ANYTHING we want to be, yet remarkably few take advantage of us. I see many immigrants in the area living the American dream. They work extremely hard, many have their own business and home. They chase the dream with a vengeance, and hang on to it.

When I was separating from the service after a short stint, I was faced with one of the greatest challenges of my life. All my life all I had ever wanted was to serve my country as an officer in the military for a career. It is all I thought of. And when I was faced with a difficult decision to separate and provide for my wife and 2 children, the task was quite daunting at the beginning of the journey.

Several colleagues and I went to a recruiter's informational meeting to see what options we had available. He was strong, convicted and very good at what he does. He suggested we read his book on PCS'ing to Corporate America. After the meeting, I conferred with a couple of friends and wondered about my meeting with him the following afternoon. "Don't worry" they said- "just go". The decision to go or postpone weighed heavily on my mind.

The next morning I phoned the recruiter and asked for an appointment on his next visit in a couple of months. He of course thanked me for my courtesy, and we went on with our day.

The next day I asked my buddies how the interview with the recruiter went. I heard all kinds of excuses: "He was arrogant", "He was an &**hole", "A jerk" etc. Predictably, everyone with these comments was not accepted by him to be a candidate for his recruiting agency.

Coincidence? I think not. You see, Roger only accepted on average 12% of the applicants. Not because they were extraordinarily talented, but because they were committed to the career change and were taking it very seriously. They demonstrated this commitment by reading his book and many others, and learning how little they knew about themselves and how to interview. Under Roger's leadership we became experts of ourselves and rose to the challenge. His course was rigorous and demanding, but deep inside my heart I knew by following his advice and direction and dedicating myself to his plan everything was going to be alright, and that is how I was able to lead my family during one of the most stressful periods of our lives.

My friends took the easy way out. They chose not to try to learn about themselves, and if they don't know themselves, how can they convey their best qualities to a prospective employer and land the big job? They can't.

When I landed my job with a cutting edge medical company selling devices to surgeons, my friends called me "lucky". That infuriated me.
God had given me a path, just like them, but unlike them, I chose the path less traveled and succeeded where they had failed. I suppose it is easier to point the finger at someone else and call it luck, but it was highly offensive nonetheless, and I am not one to get worked up about stuff like that.

Along the same lines, many people accuse my wife and me of being lucky for the relationship we have. We have been together since we were 16, and have never been with anyone else. What we have IS special, and I think we are indeed blessed to have each other (though I am DEFINITELY getting the better part of the bargain!), but the marriage thing has not always been a bed of roses. We have had ups and downs. We have fought. We have disagreed about things, but we have worked them all out. We trust each other implicitly, knowing the other would never do anything to harm what we have.

This is rare, I know.

But the point is the work and the investments we make into our relationship. While I am not always a teddy bear to be around, I do my best to leave my frustrations at work (or wherever they come from) and not take them out on the family. I am not always successful, but I try. My wife loves me for who I am, and she realizes the grumpy guy is NOT who I am. She looks past this inadequacy. How she put up with me when I was in the service and much more volatile is a mystery to me. (I told you I was getting the best bargain here)

Nothing worthwhile is free or easy, and if it is, it is most definitely not worth much to you.

People use all kinds of things to fill a void in their lives- shopping, home decor, cars, vacations, clothes, food, alcohol, drugs, cigarettes, sex. The list goes on and on. Each of these "addictions" as many are becoming known are nothing more than the human spirit, seeking more pleasure, being allowed to spiral out of control by someone not working to improve themselves. And if they are not willing to improve themselves for their own benefit, what chance does their spouse have of motivating them?


The bottom line: We fear a challenge because it makes us uncomfortable, we feel we have too much at risk or don't see enough payoff for the challenge. When we try to tie a monetary value to everything in our life, we devalue that which is most sacred- the love of our Father, our family and our neighbors. When we take our eye off the ball and focus on the material things in our lives, we lose sight of the greatest commandment and subsequently true joy. We Americans feel if we can have this vacation, raise, promotion, car or house we will truly be happy. Then, there is one MORE thing we want, then another. When does it stop? Never.

Truthfully, are you really happier today with all you material possessions or were you happier when you were a simple child and found wonder and joy in most things? Sadly, most of us will answer no. We have supplanted a simple life with gadgets and stress trying to procure more and more stuff we will leave behind when we die.

Trust me on this one- take a trip somewhere away from the advertising that surrounds us today. Turn off the t.v., radio and Internet and spend a couple of days away from it all and see what you start to think about. You may find yourself looking at yourself and wondering how to change yourself for the better or to have a closer relationship with God. If not, worst case, you end up with a relaxing few days away from the constant pressure of in your face marketing.

Go ahead and try it- I dare you!

Do you get personal?

Friday morning on Fox News was a news story that at first blush disturbed me somewhat. The teaser stated a Texas church was giving away a car on Easter Sunday. That got my attention!

When the show returned after the break, the anchors introduced Pastor Bill Cornelius of Bay Area Fellowship from the Corpus Christi area network of churches. They have several campuses in South Texas, and each one will be drawing names for a car, laptops, big screen t.v.s and more in what they call The Ultimate Giveaway. Here is the description from their home page:

"YOU are the next winner of The Ultimate Giveaway! That's right...With nearly $1 MILLION in prizes and giveaways, this Easter, everyone will win something at Bay Area Fellowship! And, wait...that's not all. Each service we're giving awayFREE FLATSCREENS, LAPTOPS...and CARS!!! Be here beginning April 1 (and...no, this is no April Fool's joke). This is the real deal! No tricks, strings or fine print! Show up and let Bay Area Fellowship bless YOU this Easter!"

This was of great interest to the anchors so they asked Pastor Bill what was up- what are you thinking here?

Bill told them he is copying a friend from Minnesota and using the Ultimate Giveaway as a means to reach those who ordinarily would not attend church, even on Easter Sunday. He feels if he has JUST ONE chance to introduce someone to the idea of meeting Jesus and developing a personal relationship with Him, the he has been successful. The video is here on the homepage.

I immediately saw the potential there with this publicity stunt, and apparently it has been successful; Pastor Bill having led some 300 people last year to a personal relationship with Christ when He was accepted as their Savior. Hence the title "The Ultimate Giveaway" for the gift of eternal life is the greatest gift anyone can receive.

How great is that?

But it is a fine line between using this stunt as an effective recruiting tool and turning the temple into a commercialized God-free zone. A fine line indeed.

As I drove to work, I started to remember the wonder when I was exposed to a personal relationship concept with Rene Cardiff and the Fellowship of Christian Athletes in high school when I was 14. I was already a believer but I was not a BELIEVER.

Rene was our trainer in high school, and was always one of the coolest guys around. He was a little older than us (at the time I think he was in his late 20's) and was very happily married to his wife Mary. Several of us would hang out in his office during lunch and talk several days a week. He never seemed to mind it. In fact, he seemed to revel in it, and now I know why.

I remember thinking to myself how great Rene was- how friendly and supportive. He had it all, and I subconsciously wondered what I needed to get the same joy of life he had. He invited me to attend the next FCA event and I did. Of course every one there was someone I knew, most of them from the football and baseball teams I was on so the comfort level was there immediately.

Over the next few months, I was impressed with the scriptural knowledge Rene had for a lay person, but I began to feel differently about my relation with Christ. I began to take on a different belief or perspective of Christianity. A paradigm had taken place in my life.

As I was attending Sunday School in church, I was told how difficult the Bible is to read because it is full of hyperbole and analogies. You must be well-read in ancient studies and languages to fully interpret the Bible. And it made sense if you knew no better. What I learned was the Bible is literal and fairly clear. The analogies take place when Jesus was trying to explain to others what He was all about (and many STILL didn't get it) and others were used when the author was trying to explain a concept (like John in Revelation talking about the iron grasshoppers that spit fire, which are of course helicopters today).

To illustrate this point, I offer to you my analogy. The Bible is basically our Father's word to us. His rules, if you will. Given He loves us infinitely more than we love our own children or our parents loved us, and given most of us had a clear understanding of what was expected of us by our own parents, how likely is it God the Father would not provide the same to us? Clear, defined roles, rules and guidelines? Boundaries are things man has sought from the beginning for our own understanding. Boundaries on land, law, relationships etc. Infants continually push the envelope as they develop and explore their own world and influence therein.

So I ask again, how likely is God to have said my children are wise enough to understand my Word since I did not speak clearly?

Of course the Bible is clear. It is meant to be our Daily Bread- the conduit to develop a personal relationship with Christ and the Father. This is something I have begun to take for granted in the sense I often forget not everyone knows what I know- that Jesus wants to commune with me and that God is a jealous God. He wants His children to be close and to have a close walk with Him.

Is that too much to ask? I don't think so- especially when you consider what we are celebrating this weekend. The Resurrection of Jesus Christ. He is risen. Rejoice in the good news and share it with others.